I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
