Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
