South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
