I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
