It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
