guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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