Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
