Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
