Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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