GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
