He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
