I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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