we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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