my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
