Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
