I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
