I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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