erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
