I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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