I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
