The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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