it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
