I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
