Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
