the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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