Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
