Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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