When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
