I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
