Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
