so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
