I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i think my cat just said my name.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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