idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
