You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
