I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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