Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
