Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
