Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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