Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm too high and old for this...
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