After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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