My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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