dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
