I just cut my nipple shaving
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
