Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
