I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You were trust falling into bushes
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
