a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
