his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
