i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Randomize
