He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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