sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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