I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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