are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
