Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
