I heard we made out
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
