His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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