YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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