Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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