just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
